Make love grow baby!

'Having sex' was quite a nice term; medically correct too. I don't know (and I am sure neither of you is) about who the hell invented this new term 'make love' or 'making love'. I can't say whether he was a 'brilliant' or a downright 'duffer'. That gentleman, (or was that a naughty lady) in one go put to test many terms including the once considered sacred term, the 'love'. 'He' or 'she' the inventor picked up the word 'LOVE' as if it was his/her copyright "all rights reserved" property, used this nice word, added another very simple word 'make' to it and 're-meant' the resulting phrase to hell of a meaning! In fact I must say he or she picked up this precious word 'love'.... 'used it', 'misused it' and finally threw it for everyone to 'abuse it'.

You ought to love your parents, your siblings, your children and even your ...sorry, not 'your' but 'thy' neighbors. But with the word 'love', in case of how many of these people are you permitted to add the term 'make' or 'making'? I am sure you'd die to add it in case of your neighbors at least; admit it or not, if she is nice. Consider another scenario. I am sure when a celebrity shouts at a crowd full of girls, "I love you all....", he has within brackets already added the word 'make' in the heart of his hearts.

This 'inventor' reminds me of a person here in India. A veteran film producer/director/actor of Marathi cinema (language) who was popularly known as 'Dada Kondke' (whatever his real name was). He was the best of his time, and I think the best ever humorist for creating what was known as 'double-meaning dialogues; a term that became quite popular in Nineteen eighties and early nineties.

Dada Kondke in his later years tried his hands in Hindi cinema (language) also. One of his productions was titled, "Andheri raat mein, diya tere haath mein". It should officially mean that, "In the dark night, the lamp is in your hands". The twist is that in hindi language, the word 'diya' has two meanings; one is the 'lamp' and other is the verb that means 'given' (to give something masculine not feminine. For having given something feminine, the verb used is simply 'di' or 'dee'). So the unofficial meaning of the title was clearly and without any grammatical mistake, "In the dark night, I gave (something masculine) in your hands."

Another title that ran into Censor board trouble was, "Peechhe ki chhod, aage ki soch" (Means, "Let bygones be bygones and think about what next"). But in fact this sentence also meant, "Forget about something (or leave something) that is in the back (probably 'A-hole') and think about something (feminine) that is in the front!" (funny, isn't it?!). So it ran into Censor board trouble when some people raised hue and cry about the rude and crude 'other meaning'. There would have no question of controversy, had the movie being produced by someone else than 'Dada', as grammatically or otherwise the sentence was not only okay, but was also taken from an old saying. But as everyone knew about the past of that naughty producer as well as his real naughty intentions and the tendency of the people to always seek the 'other meaning' of anything and everything that he said, it all became controversial. Finally the title was cut to half and the 'past' or 'the back' phrase was erased and the title became just 'Aage ki soch' (Think about the future or in the dirty meaning 'think about the front thing') The phrase is considerably diluted by erasing the 'back' comparison. But still, the entire country by then had known about the original title and the controversy and so it did not make any difference to cut it to half or not?

His successor in Hindi Cinema was (and is), Mr. Kader Khan, dialogue writer and a versatile actor who started as a villain in early seventies and now in veteran age doing some unmatched comedy. He too in early nineteen eighties started writing double meaning dialogues and was quite successful in that. He used to write dialogues as well as act in the same movie. In one of the movies he had the habit of forgetting the names of every noun and instead used pronouns like 'this' 'that' 'he' 'she'. This created much humor. Example is when he wants to say that 'in such an expanded city, you can't enjoy with such a small vehicle' and he'd say "in such an expanded (this thing), you cannot enjoy with your such a small (that thing)." Then he would quickly pretend to remember the exact words and speak them separately as 'City, vehicle'. Another is that he'd completely blank the nouns and say, "Put some ____ into her ____ , but not too much else she will scream."

Then he'd quickly remember the words and say, "I mean sugar in her tea"

In a movie named 'Maqsad', in which the dialogues were written by Kadar Khan, the comedian 'Asrani' was talking to another comedian, a fat one 'Amjad Khan' (who used to act as a dreaded villain but in this movie acting a meek comedian.) Asrani says, "Seems like your (that thing whatever) is very small." Amjad Khan become baffled and actually looks down towards his pants. Immediately Asrani adds the word 'dil' (heart). "Heart is very small." In the same movie the lead actor 'Rajesh Khanna' was seen playing 'answer a riddle' with lead lady Ms. Sridevi. One of the riddles Rajesh Khanna asks is, "Aroda-maroda, thook lagaa kar ghuseda...tell me what." (English translation is, "Held it, be-held it, applied some saliva and inserted it.") The girl blushes and meekly says, "Chhi chhi.... ye paheli nahin hai" (Crap, this is no riddle). But Rajesh Khanna insists that this is a genuine one and she has to answer it. She blushes more and says, "Its dirty." Then Rajesh ends the shameful drama and says, "Its simply putting thread into a needle! Is that dirty?!"

So that is the story of these two dialogue writers whose movies became rage amongst youngsters. Dada Kondke is no more and Mr. Kadar Khan is still going strong with writing comedies and acting though he ceased writing the 'double-meaning' quite a long ago. (Or maybe the ghost writer is no more, what do you guess?). I am sure if you 'become a ghost', you can earn a fortune!

So as an able successor of these two, it is my duty to say something to you baby! (or Babe? By the way do you remember a movie named "Don't call me babe"?)

Coming back to the point... all I want to say is, "Make love grow baby!" (Without any punctuation between.)

Now it is up to the ladies where they put the punctuation sign 'comma'. They can put it after the word 'grow' or after the word 'love'. My advise is, if you want to avoid the pain of producing a baby or growing it up, simply put the 'comma' a word later; be patient and pause your sentence a word later.